Everyone seems to have taken sides by now regarding the H&K spat. Being a psychologist , I am quite amused, intrigued and looking forward to see how the famous Hritik Vs Kangana feud ends after all. Though nowadays Kangana has chosen to be quiet. Here is my take on it ….
Kangana Ranaut claims that she has had a clandestine and secretive 7 year long love affair with Hritik and that he kept it hush because he wanted to maintain his”dignity” and she was this naive, understanding mistress. She spoke to various TV channels and has been very frank, hostile and mud slinging the Roshan family at lengths that at times feels unnecessary even to those who are her staunch supporters, feminists and feminazis.
It’s like” Hey, Its ok, we get the point . You don’t need to dramatize it so much.”
She asserts that Hritik’s ego has been so much hurt after she called him the “silly ex” and that he wants her back so much that he has filed a police complaint against her after carefully filing all the emails that he himself construed and hacked her email account and sent it to himself to prove himself right in front of the world. Wait, What???
She goes on to say that his divorce with Suzanne had been tumultuous on his psyche. That his marital discord caused him to pull and push Kangana till a breaking point where she could not take it anymore. That Hritik took shelter behind his father and lawyers instead of directly dealing with her. Her challenge to him to come in front of her and make the claim that he had no affair with her and that he never proposed her. Her claim that a small town girl is always scared of “Bade Baap ke Bigade Bete” and how Aditya Pancholi abused her. She looped in a bag full of people in the industry and has been extremely negative in her views and “exposed ” them. She is so convincing about her alleged affair on Aaj Tak that she has been supported nation wide , exalted by women all over as the woman Messiah fighting alone against nepotism, for feminism and for career oriented small town girls.
Hritik spoke very convincingly on Republic Channel to Arnab Goswami (who has strong opinions, speaks aggressively and makes even the most honest politicians sound treacherous and conniving ) about how he was this dignified gentleman walking his path of truth, holding on to a belief that he will at the end of it come out without a scratch however as now being a noble father of two and seeing how affected they are because of all this, he has had to stand up for himself and his family. Family Honor, you see?
He claims that the “woman in question”( he is soooo decent and gentlemanly, that he cannot use her name in public lest people mock her) is obsessing over him (Oh, My my!!) and has been using her sister’s account to mud sling him and had written thousand long emails to him from her own account which he conveniently ignored and directed it to the spam folder thinking that it may be some apposter wanting to make his life hell and would soon lose interest. He claims to have talked to Kangana’s family ashe did not want to call kangana for such a trivial issue and speak directly. He sent a legal notice only when he directly witnessed kangana referring to him as her ex boyfriend on national TV. He had been ignoring the teasing and comments from people in parties thinking that these rumors would soon to die down. He claims he did not want any “scene”. Wow. How chivalrous and decent. Or Is Poor Hritik a Cyber Victim? Anyway…..
If we for sometime believe Hritik…. then probably we are looking at a Borderline Personality (BPD)
A. A dependent personality who bows down to every wish of her loved one.
B. An Independent fearless mouthy person who wont take it any longer and wants to get back at the man who hurt her..” it’s like second death, you know!”
As psychologist, one will find many of the borderline personality traits in this behavior.
Did you know that BPD affects 50% more people than Alzheimer’s disease and nearly as many as schizophrenia and bipolar combined (2.25%). In India , sadly, many of the BPDs go undetected or misdiagnosed. And the research statistics if published are somewhere in some godforsaken journal I am unable to find. Even Saran agrees, in his research paper . Take a look….. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3146203/
According to the many researches, a BPD is one of the most often misunderstood disorders because it often overlaps with depression, anxiety, and narcisstic personality.
It is characteristic of BPDs to have chaotic relationships, are often loners or socially awkward, confused about relationships, aggressive(passive or active), impulsive, risk taking.
It is also known that many BPDs are high functioning and have more than average intelligence. Kangana is intelligent (science student , remember?), risk taking (cut on forehead while playing the role of Rani Laxmibai and Revolver Rani), spiteful (do you really need reference?). She claims to be a quiet person who does not like to go for award functions or parties. She is perceived to be socially awkward by many people in Bollywood and there are hardly friends that she has except her own sister.
BPD patients often tend to perceive their life’s events negatively, may have had some loss, trauma, or abandonment in their childhood, which they try to reconcile as adults.( http://www.hindustantimes.com/bollywood/kangana-ranaut-i-was-unwanted-girl-child-mom-couldn-t-accept-my-birth/story-MbscMef5MlrjIQu7QwhBfK.html
Multiple BPDs have history of running away from home (Kangana left her home at 16 years of age), have ugly verbal spats during adolescence with authority figures(Kangna’s relationship with her parent during her teens),
They tend to sometimes take extreme measures (example, going on national TV) to avoid a real or imagined separation or rejection , have intense unstable relationships such as idealizing someone (gogoo eyes for Hritik) and then suddenly believing that that person is horrible and cruel (Hritik is a bad man).
It is a well known fact that BPDs obsess over love relationships often creating imaginary scenes and live them in their minds and when it does not convert to reality or turn the way they want it, tend to become vengeful, spiteful and seek revenge.
(It is quite possible she imagined it all in her head and obsessed over Hritik and when he thwarted her in reality , she turned bitter.)
BPDs many times have periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours. (It is possible that Kangna experienced this while emailing Hritik whenever she was in high stress for example, when she was in France and may have not slept well due to hectic schedules and work related stress).
BPDs tend to experience wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety. They tend to be impulsive at times and extremely calm in certain situations.
(If one reads the emails in detail, then it is observed that there are multiple emails (referring to impulsive behavior) on the same day range from intense happiness, passion and positive feelings to negative feelings of doubt, shame ,guilt and anger (referring to mood swings)).
Ahem Ahem, Kangana kind of passes all this criteria.
OR Shall we say….
Hritik had a petty affair with Kangana and moved on. He had a secret affair and wanted it to keep it hush till the divorce was over (the moral support during troublesome times?), however later felt that she was just too clingy and should look for a better fish in the pond. So he moved on , leaving her high and dry, which backfired, by her going public and NOW THIS…..